Last week on Facebook, a friend posted a video that on first blush I thought was complete paranoia. The goal was to demonstrate that Facebook is listening to what we say on our phones and when the app is open and will serve up “relevant ads ” to consumers within a day or two. In other words, their phones, part of the IoT, are tracking them in ways they really don’t want.

A couple of people, who I did not know, reported similar things. My position has always been “If it exists as a selling tool, someone would have pitched me on it by now, ” so I decided to check with my retail analyst friends and posted the query on my own Facebook page. This is exactly what I wrote:

“I have a question for my retail analyst peep friends. I have been asked 3-4 different times if it’s possible that phone calls are being “listened to” by providers and google and FB (so especially mobile phones) for the purpose of serving up “relevant” ads after the fact. They swear they have not searched or put in emails or otherwise mentioned products that are served up to them online shortly after they talk about them on the phone.

I said if this was out there, someone would have pitched me on it (and they haven’t) – but then, I didn’t know google was scanning gmail for product names either (they’re about to stop).

…Let me know if I missed a meeting somewhere. This is not about whether or not it could be done or is being done by governments. It’s about whether it’s being done for the purpose of advertising. “

No one reported being “pitched ” but a surprising number of what I can only call completely rational people reported similar experiences. Here are a few quotes (names expunged).

“I believe 100% that Google is tracking phone numbers and where calls are coming from. I have Google Voice… uncanny how google ad calls come from the area codes of recent calls or top calls in my history due to the numbers of spam calls coming in. So for instance, I have a legit call with someone from Hoboken and follow-up spam calls or google adwords calls come from same area code. “

“This happens to me all. the. time. and often wonder the same. Is it just coincidence that after I mention the company “Supreme” in a call to a friend, I’m served up an ad on any of the social platforms by said company? It’s creepy if nothing else. I’d look forward to your aggregated findings. “

“Not a retail peep, but here’s one for ya: I have a front desk computer, used to email customers. It’s where my QB database lives. On more than several instances, when I go home at night, one of those customers will show up in my “suggested friends” feed” in Facebook. Big Brother? Creeps me out. “

“My girlfriend’s son was shopping for a new car. He settled on a Honda. I went with her and her son to a Honda dealer to help with the negotiation. I didn’t use my phone at all. Spent several hours at the dealership while he bought his car. The weeks afterward, I was inundated with Honda ads. “

The most recent response to my query? “Just reading this scares me. “

To be fair, several people (out of the 25 or so who responded), said they’d never experienced anything like that. I hadn’t thought about the source of my own endless spam calls…and some come from places I simply have nothing to do with, so I’m just not sure. I always assumed that the few text messages I’d sent to random places (I voted for someone on the Voice a couple of years ago and have donated to charities via SMS) were the source of my problem. But this was a credible collection of people, most of whom were convinced that despite their privacy settings, Facebook and Google are listening and using the data. I’m pretty sure that the carriers are selling location and user movement data which does explain the Honda dealership story.

It is true that although I’ve turned background app refresh off on my phone, Facebook does tell me “good morning ” through my phone home screen. That’s a little creepy. It’s also true that when I get in my car, Apple maps helpfully tells me how long it’s going to take me to get home and what traffic looks like. At least I think it’s Apple maps. It might be Google maps – I get confused between their messages. I think it’s the same one that updates the subway maps when I reach a new city. Of course, if it was really listening to my conversations it would know I NEVER take public transport. I have literally no sense of direction and would end up God-knows-where if I tried to do so without adult supervision. Still, I didn’t ask for these helpful hints.

So, what the heck are marketers thinking? Customer segmentation and personalization are not the same as privacy intrusions. Full disclosure: No respondents to my query were Millennials. Does that matter? Even though some would have us believe that “Millennials don’t care… they have no expectation of privacy, ” the jury remains out on the veracity of that statement.

The bigger question is, “Does this actually incent someone to buy or does it just creep them out? ” Do I expect my friend to buy a Honda now? No…he’s probably less likely to buy one. And all the cat-related ads that are getting served up to me these days aren’t going to make me love my cats any more or less, nor will it change what they eat.

Bottom line? I think we have to tread really lightly. There are important things that can be accomplished with the Internet of Things. Personally, I think it’s more important for a retailer to know where his inventory is than where his potential customers are. The data from our recent IoT benchmark report tells us that in general, retailers feel the same.

Perhaps it’s worthwhile to have a talk with your friendly re-targeting company and ask them to refrain from too much intrusion. I believe these negotiations happen between Facebook, Google and the advertising companies. Retailers are just likely paying for a certain number of impressions per month. It’s time to dig a little deeper into their activities.

From what I can tell, shoppers simply don’t like it.